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To My Loved One Watching Over Me

 
Mariyah, 
I would be selfish to wish you were back here on this cruel Earth... so call me selfish. I would give anything to have you back here with me. Thank God for technology so I can hear you voice, your laugh, your incredibly unique dance moves. This life wasn't fair that someone as bubbly, selfless, and loving as you only had 20 years on this Earth. I worry everyday that if I don't play your voice in my head that it might slip away from me. 
As the days keep going on, it's getting harder for me to look at your pictures. You were so full of life, so happy. It's just not fair. So here I am, sitting here writing to you because it helps my grieving process. When I first found out about you, I thought I would never be able to stop crying. I could barely sleep because I replayed every memory over and over and over in my mind. You were my person. 
They say we have soulmates in our life. You were a soulmate in the form of my cousin. I mean, how lucky was I to have a cousin who was as close as a sister? You told me every guy problem, every fear, every worry... we told each other practically everything. Things we never and will probably never tell our parents. I promise your secrets are still safe with me. 
I talk to you roughly 90% out of the day. The other 10% I'm talking to someone or sleeping. I don't have to say I hope you're listening because I already know you are listening. I can feel you with me. Sometimes it feels like you're standing right next to me, and maybe you are, but it's not fair that I can't hear or see you. 
The other night you visited me in my dream. I know it was the first of many, but it was nice to see your face and hear your voice. I just hope you're looking down on me and you're proud of everything I am doing. I promise to keep doing a #MariyahMark when the opportunity rises. I love you, love bug.

 Love, 

 Katie

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