Mariyah Kaitlyn Howard, what am I going to do without you? I think of you every minute, every hour, every day. It's hard to fall asleep at night because I replay our memories over and over in my mind. It seems the only way I can give my heart a rest is with some sleep. I can hear your voice all the time, but I worry it is going to slip away from me. You were my go-to. You were and will always be my first best friend. You were so brutally honest, and I miss that so much it hurts. When we were little, you would always follow me around everywhere. Every time I think something is cute, I can hear you say, "Katie, no that's ugly." It's hard for me to go home now because it's tempting to send you a text saying, "Hey I'm home, want to hang out?" I miss going past the house and seeing your little red car in the drive.
The day before you were killed, I drove past your house and saw your car in the drive. I thought "should I stop? Ehh no, I'll text her tomorrow to see what she's doing and we'll hang out." That haunts me because tomorrow never came for you. I could've stopped to see you. I could've saw you that day. They say God has a plan, but I struggle with that because you were 20 years old. You never made it to twenty-fun, and that's not fair. For some reason, you were only meant to be here for twenty years, and I will never know that reason. You and I were supposed to grow old together and be at all the family functions together. It was always Katie and Mariyah, we were attached at the hip. That's forever gone and I struggle with that a little more every day.
You were the kindest person I have ever met. You were always there for anyone in need. You were kind to everyone and made sure there was no one left out. You had the purest heart, so full of love. There's a saying, "How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard?" Then consider me the luckiest person on Earth that I got to love and know you.
Mariyah, I miss you every single day. It definitely doesn't get easier, but the world deserves to know how sweet you were. The world deserves to know that a sweet soul was taken far too soon than she deserved. You are now a beautiful angel who is always with me. I can feel that. I just wish I could hug you and have you squeeze me till it hurt. That was your signature hug. I miss you, little love bug. A part of my heart died the day you did.
The world deserves to know that you were hit by a drunk driver who is alive and well today. I could sit here and be full of anger, but you wouldn't want that. My anger isn't going to bring you back. You'd forgive, so I forgive. As hard as that is, I will do it for you.
I had to write this blog because these thoughts are constantly running through my mind and I just miss you, so this helps my heart. Each day, I have started doing an act of kindness whenever an opportunity arises. So I challenge each of you who reads this to leave a "Mariyah Mark" in the world.
When you leave your "Mariyah Mark" keep it silent. When you brag about an act of kindness, it defeats the purpose. Mariyah did so many silent acts of kindness. She was truly a bright light in this world, who is missed by so many. I promise to keep your memory alive. I am honoring you every day, love bug. I love you.
Love you,
Katie
The day before you were killed, I drove past your house and saw your car in the drive. I thought "should I stop? Ehh no, I'll text her tomorrow to see what she's doing and we'll hang out." That haunts me because tomorrow never came for you. I could've stopped to see you. I could've saw you that day. They say God has a plan, but I struggle with that because you were 20 years old. You never made it to twenty-fun, and that's not fair. For some reason, you were only meant to be here for twenty years, and I will never know that reason. You and I were supposed to grow old together and be at all the family functions together. It was always Katie and Mariyah, we were attached at the hip. That's forever gone and I struggle with that a little more every day.
You were the kindest person I have ever met. You were always there for anyone in need. You were kind to everyone and made sure there was no one left out. You had the purest heart, so full of love. There's a saying, "How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard?" Then consider me the luckiest person on Earth that I got to love and know you.
Mariyah, I miss you every single day. It definitely doesn't get easier, but the world deserves to know how sweet you were. The world deserves to know that a sweet soul was taken far too soon than she deserved. You are now a beautiful angel who is always with me. I can feel that. I just wish I could hug you and have you squeeze me till it hurt. That was your signature hug. I miss you, little love bug. A part of my heart died the day you did.
The world deserves to know that you were hit by a drunk driver who is alive and well today. I could sit here and be full of anger, but you wouldn't want that. My anger isn't going to bring you back. You'd forgive, so I forgive. As hard as that is, I will do it for you.
I had to write this blog because these thoughts are constantly running through my mind and I just miss you, so this helps my heart. Each day, I have started doing an act of kindness whenever an opportunity arises. So I challenge each of you who reads this to leave a "Mariyah Mark" in the world.
When you leave your "Mariyah Mark" keep it silent. When you brag about an act of kindness, it defeats the purpose. Mariyah did so many silent acts of kindness. She was truly a bright light in this world, who is missed by so many. I promise to keep your memory alive. I am honoring you every day, love bug. I love you.
Love you,
Katie
Comments
Post a Comment